Sweet Boy

I have two of them but the specific one I speak of is my oldest. My word, he can be a pain in my coccyx! He likes to play "Opposite Day" on short notice and say 'no sir' to me when he should be saying 'yes ma'am'. He takes medicine to help him focus and the hour before his meds kick in, he literally bounces off the walls. He pees on the toilet seat and blames it on his sister. He uses entirely too much toilet paper. His socks can be found stuffed in the most random places. He claims to like healthy foods but the boy can inhale peanut butter crackers. I can hear him coming from a mile away because he wears several keychains on his belt loop, including a cute little Lego Santa. I hope he keeps that forever, by the way. This child can grind my nerves, but, BUT he has the biggest heart. Such a compassionate child. And he is a tremendous help to me. Never does he complain about helping me out. Ok, um, scratch that. He complains about taking out the trash, cleaning his room, having to be around his sister at all, homework (even though it's not technically for me), putting up his laundry. But if I ask him to help me out with his brother he happily obliges. And he has the best manners. He hasn't quite mastered the judgement on when to use them, but he's working on it. I just adore him. He'll be 11 years old in just over 2 weeks and my feelings are hurt! He'll be a pubescent, raging teenager before I know it. Lord, please allow me to savor these moments. Let them pass slowly. My little boy will be a little one no more next time I blink.

Evan, if you ever read this please know that I love you more than my own life. I would do anything and give anything for you. Your happiness and well being are the reason I am alive. It is because of you that I am who I am. You were the first to make me a Mama and for that I am thankful. I'd always wanted to be a Mama since I was just a tiny thing myself. I love you, son.

A smile

At 7 weeks, 6 days my sweet baby had his first smile yesterday. I think there was a silent competition between my husband and I...who would he smile for/at first? But the little guy is an equal opportunist. He smiled at my voice while his Daddy was holding him. Oh, how he melts my heart. 


Unfortunately, I don't remember how old Evan and Azlynn were when they had their first smile. See? That's exactly why I am blogging even though I'm not crazy about being on the internet. Scary thought, eh. Anyway.


My Evan is really growing up. His wisdom is beyond his years. Just this weekend a friend of his lost his parents by murder-suicide. Immediately Evan texted his friend to see how he was. He amazes me with his compassion and understanding. My firstborn has my heart for sure. 


Azlynn got her hair cut. Off. When I was a little girl I had short hair. My mom always had it bobbed which wasn't flattering for my frame, but easiest on her I suppose. So, I always thought that I would let Azlynn's hair grow. She's had other intentions. Although she says she loves when her hair is long, I think she prefers it short. Bobbed. Just like mine was. Two weeks before the start of her kindergarten year she cut her own bangs. It was one of those jobs where she grabbed her hair just above the root and snipped. After she looked in the mirror she bawled her eyes out. This time though, she let me take her to our own personal hairdresser, my BFF. So, her hair is short. Hm. 


I've ordered most of our Christmas gifts online. Target shipped most of my orders to my old address 15 miles away. It's like 15 degrees outside. I hope they're still there as I have heard the house is vacant. We shall see. I sure can't get my kids out to drive over and see. My stomach is in knots just thinking about it. Conveniently, the things that were mis-delivered are the things I ordered for myself. Which, by the way, makes me think...Do all wives buy their own gifts from their husbands? Some? Any?  Well, I did. And I hope I get them. Dang it.

hold my hand

Ten years ago, almost eleven now. I can't believe my firstborn will be eleven years old in less than a month. Wow. When he was a baby, about six months old, he hated to ride in the car. I thought babies liked riding. I thought it put them to sleep. Yeah, not him. He was supposed to be rear facing in his car seat, but he wasn't. Me and all of my 20 year old naivety, turned his car seat around to face the front with the thought that if he could see me then he wouldn't cry. Wrong. He screamed the entire time we rode. After many screaming rides, I finally figured out how to stop him. All I had to do was hold his sweet little hand. I would drive with my left and reach back to him. He would put his little hand in mine and I would rub it and he'd settle down. I could tell he still wasn't happy but at least he wasn't crying.
That was way back then, when I had a little 1997 Nissan Altima. I could easily reach in the back seat. Now, I have a mini. Van, that is. It's really an SUV when I want it to be. The point is that it is much bigger than my little car. So when Owen is crying I stretch my arm back there (and try not to steer to the left) and rub his little head. He's rear facing, by the way. He doesn't realize now what I am doing so he doesn't appreciate it but it makes me wonder if he'll be like his brother was in a few months. Um, he'll be six months old in about four months. What?! Time flies when you're having fun getting no sleep.
On the other hand, when Azlynn was six months old she was a dream. An angel. Slept through the night in her own bed. Entertained herself and didn't require much. Sat in the backseat, rear facing, and never cried. My, how things have changed.
Another 6 month happening worth mentioning....Evan got his first tooth on July 16, 2000. He was six months and 9 days old. I was such a proud Mama.

And it will be

The story of my life. I can't remember it all. Every once in a while a memory comes to me and wakes me from my slumber. Good, bad, sweet and sour. They're all there and unattainable most of the time. A smell, feeling of deja vu, sound or person can beckon old memories and they flood back. Some just peek in from time to time. I hope that by writing things down, putting them here in black and white, I will have a no fail place, if you will, to come and relive those memories. I was inspired to do this because of Owen. He is just a tiny thing now, but I know that in no time he'll be potty training, getting his driver's license and eventually gracing me with grandchildren. I look back on the time that Evan and Azlynn were his age and can only remember bits and pieces. I want more! And it's never too late. One day, although I can't imagine it now, I will miss these ages of almost-11, 6 and 6 weeks. And so it begins with a pick up somewhere in the middle..the story of my life.